


There Is Nothing (I Can Do For You)

by ununoriginal



Category: KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-28
Updated: 2007-11-28
Packaged: 2017-12-14 16:16:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ununoriginal/pseuds/ununoriginal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jin-centric. He never used to make this trip alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Is Nothing (I Can Do For You)

It occurred to him one day that he had drifted.  He guessed it must have been happening for a time, but he had not been paying attention.  He wondered whose fault it had been, but couldn’t really decide whether the blame laid with him or his friends.  
  
Maybe it was both.  Maybe it had started with him.  He had been so busy for most of this last year, what with being in ‘Anego’ and all.  It had been pretty exciting, to finally be given a chance to experience the world beyond the agency’s aegis.  Work had been overwhelming, for him, for all of them.  
  
Then Kame went away to film Nobuta with Pi, and he remembered being vaguely concerned about whether they would get along – he remembered how Pi had called him up at midnight to bitch about having to act like super pals with someone he had barely talked to outside of work for the past two years.  He also recalled mumbling something to Pi about how the two characters in the drama weren’t really friends to begin with – so why didn’t Pi just draw some inspiration from that?  
  
Next thing he knew, Shuuji+Akira was a phenomenon; the childhood fight with its ensuing cold war, followed by the amiable patch-up, was being repackaged and blasted from a million television screens.  
  
He watched the animated retelling of it, with all the appropriate abashed pauses, the earnestness behind both Kame and Pi’s eyes as they delivered their tale – truly, they weren’t the Jimusho’s golden boys for nothing – and at first he was content, pleased, actually.    
  
It wasn’t the full version of events – that the long-ago fight in the park had been a tussle of sorts between Kame and Pi over getting his attention, something that had left him straddling the fence for years; that there had been three people at the café when Shuuji and Akira had finally ‘talked things through’.  
  
Truly, it was as if he had been a real-life ‘Nobuta’, he thought, ambivalent, as he sat watching the pair work the Utaban audience.  Only Nobuta ever had faith in Shuuji and Akira’s friendship, the bond between the three of them, whereas he was gradually beginning to realize that he wasn’t so sure anymore whether three was a company or a crowd.  
  
It always felt that little bit jarring when Pi would pass him something that Kame had forgotten, or the unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach when Kame knew Pi’s schedule better than he did.  Even though they were all in the same agency, he had still somehow managed to compartmentalize the various parts of his life, but now things were becoming murky, leaving him uncertain of where he stood.  
  
“Let’s go for yakiniku” would now be answered with “sure, do you want to ask Kame along?”  Back at the gakuya, when he wanted to tell Kame about his day off, Kame would already know, because Pi had already mentioned it.  
  
It left a sour feeling festering within, he admitted, since he didn’t really want to share.  He wanted each of them, for himself.  
  
He wondered if that was healthy, because it seemed rather too extreme to be feeling like this when they were only his friends.  Unfortunately, work was slowing down for him, leaving him with too much unnecessary time pondering needless and irrational things.  It was best that he lighten up, get a grip on himself.  
  
And so he found himself at the beach alone, where it occurred to him that in all his self-preoccupation, he had drifted.  He tried to remember when was the last time he had come to this spot with Pi and realized that it had been months.  He never used to make this trip alone.  
  
Maybe this was part of growing up, the inevitability of separation – no one gets to stay together forever.  
  
Kame and Pi both seemed pretty happy with what they were doing now – so much work was coming their way, and despite their complaints, he knew those two workaholics enjoyed it nonetheless.  
  
He kicked the sand at his feet, sending little puffs ahead of him as he shuffled towards the shoreline.  He stared at the grey waves as the water swelled and receded, shivering as the ocean wind wrapped him in the chill of late winter.  The horizon was a smudged line, and he remembered how he and Pi would gaze at that distant point, musing about old age and Hawaii.  
  
He thought of the two people he knew best together under the brilliant lights of the stage.  He daydreamed of roaring crowds cheering his name; of debuting, his face plastered along the billboards and sidewalks.  He thought of how beyond that faint seam connecting sea and sky, there was a land and life he would never touch.  
  
He tilted his head to face the blurred white disc of the sun, and wondered if he could ask Shuuji and Akira how it felt like to fly.


End file.
